“There is no greater agony than a story left untold inside of you.” – maya angelou

I am going to start living by this quote and sharing my story. Because it is too powerful not to be told. And hopefully someone can relate to it. That is my biggest goal, along with getting myself heard. This is my health journey, and I want to share it with the people of the world.

I grew up in NY, in a sheltered life with my parents. And I had some great experiences, along with some many hard ones. When I turned 21, I decided to study abroad in Paris. I always loved Europe, and I wanted to move there. The experience was happy, thought provoking, real and painful. I went through a trauma there and have been “paying” for it ever since.

I have made a Lot of mistakes since then, but now I am in a period of self discovery, fighting- against the world, against myself, and my abuser.

But know, as many painful thoughts I have had, I have also had a lot of beautiful ones. You have to keep that beauty inside you, because that is what saves you.

For me, it’s my appreciation of people. How interesting and complicated they are. How interesting every race is- it is such a gift to learn about each culture. To hear people’s viewpoints on things. To be creative. Everyone is creative in their own way, and it is such a great process. Creating something from nothing.

Whether it’s a business, an idea, a vision board, a poem, or something else that your mind allowed you to create.

I feel, in dealing with my trauma now, that I have to share this. It is my purpose to fight, to take back what I lost, and to help others, in the littlest way I can at least.

There is a lot of pain, anger, maybe confusion from addictions, and it is all ok. It manifests itself in different people, and we are all human with many layers of experience and emotions. I will write a book on this one day, but for now I’m sharing a few thoughts. Take from it whatever gives you strength. And I am speaking to especially women but also any of those who feel oppressed.

Find outlets: meditation, someone’s thoughts on existence, a conversation, a piece of art, a vision board. Vision boards and collages are great- bc you can envision however you want your life to be, and create a board with images, quotes that mean something to you. Not enough people seek meaning, and I am trying my best to do that by finding my own outlets. I do that by studying fitness and nutrition, making my health important. I am nowhere near as healthy as I want to be, but every day I work on it.

I make workouts a priority , because the endorphins and confidence it gives you is unmatched.

I deal with uncomfortable moments every day, but I am a citizen of the world, and I know something better is waiting for me.